i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
