He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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