I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
