Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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