Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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