halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My penis needs a shock collar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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