Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
