Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize