Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
