i would punch a child for taco bell
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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