Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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