My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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