fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
