I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
