I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we're so committed to being not committed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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