When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
