I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
