YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
