it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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