I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
