sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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