After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
