matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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