My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
