Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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