No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
