Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
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Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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