it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
