I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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