that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
