where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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