well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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