just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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