sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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