no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
