Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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