Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
