i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
