you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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