All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
