It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
