i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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