His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.