I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
