I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
