they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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