Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
