I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
did you just send me my own nude
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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