Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
