the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
