...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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