Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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