At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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