I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
