he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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