Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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