I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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