did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When are your genitals available?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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