theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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