does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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