its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize