Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
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I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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