PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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