im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
