I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
