did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize