I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
