We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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