Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bring me that man meat
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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