I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
